This post is about mascara lies. The average woman spends 420 hours of her life looking at and choosing mascara*.

These are the real names of mascaras on the market:

1. Cargo Lash Activator
2. Shocking Indecent Volume
3. The Colossal Volume Express
4. Sexy Curves
5. Iconic Extreme
6. 2000 Calorie
7. XXL Intense
8. Lash Injection

I mean, really. Who wants an injection in the eye?

Here are possible names for my new mascara. The one I will launch for Christmas 2011.  They tell the buyer what the product actually does. Have a root round. Which ones do you have in your grotty mascara graveyard?

1. A Little Bit Thicker-Lash
2. Temporary Boost to Self Esteem-Lash
3. Promises, Promises-Lash
4. Clog and Bunch
5. XS Lash
6. Panda Eyes
7. Stiff and Sharp
8. Makes them Visible-Lash
9. Straighter than Rain
10. Bit Better than Before
11. Average-Lash
12. Lies-Lash
13. No Better, No Worse-Lash

The strapline will be ‘you already know it’s disappointing’.

The anti-mascara lies war started an hour ago. You’re not too late to join!

* based on no research